"Glee - Journey" S1, E22

Gleek Out!

As season two of Glee premieres tomorrow we thought we would recap the finale of season one.

First line of the show is a wonderful quip by Sue. She will be judging regional’s (oh no).  I love the interaction between Will and Sue – one of the show’s hearts is their relationship.  She always has the funniest things to say about his hair and this is another classic one. "I have to be honest I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you've said today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou." Will throws a fit with Principle Figgins and gets nothing. Flip to a scene of hot ass Puck and Quinn making out. (so jealous and the Mohawk returns for a flashback cameo), then flip to her pregnant. Will and the gang are gathered together to come up with a new set list and it seems everyone’s in the doldrums. Poor Asian girl (terrible crier) wah wah's about being special.  Big eyed red aka the counselor gives Will a pep talk.  She then tells him she's seeing someone, (bitch) her dentist... really? (kick him while he's down why don't you – rumor that the dentist next season is going to be played by John Stamos – how about that for some competition Will?) Will tunes to Journey while driving in his car and has to pull over to break down and cry. Finn finds Rachael at school and yells at her to step it up as the leader. It's a sense of rallying and it's awesome! Will gives the club a pep talk.  It's decided they're doing a journey medley (YES!) "regionals here we come" Introducing  the judges: Josh Groben, OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN!!!! some other guy who might be Sue’s former lover? and Sue.  (I love hating her and I love the “C” she flashes the crowd as she is introduced with her hand, because that’s the way Sue C’s It.) Finn tells Rachael he loves her right before they start... Faithfully is the first song. Rachael and Finn’s duet starts from the back and they walk through the audience. They run on stage as the curtain goes up and the gang is behind them to begin the chorus. (chill bumps) A peppy rendition of anyway you want it begins (I want to make out with Puck). The crowd is very into it, lots of cheering. When they begin Don't Stop Believing, the crowd is on their feet and dancing. (Mercedes does not get enough time to show off but she never does, sigh.) They basically knock it out of the park! Quinn’s mom shows up after the show back stage and she drops a huge bombshell, that her dad was having an affair with a tattooed freak (Jesse James?) and that she's left him.  The mom asks “Quinney” to come home and she'll turn the guest room into a nursery.  Quinn has a shocked look on her face, so the mom asks her to say something and she replies "my water just broke" (Awesome way to hit us with that news.) We come back from commercial to Vocal Adrenalin singing Bohemian Rhapsody. (Jesse, you're a douche) It flips back and forth from the gang running through the hospital and regional’s as the notorious Rhapsody builds to its big finish, Quinn pops out a big finish on her own. Really sweet moment where Quinn pulls Mercedes with here. Pan back to regional’s with some really awesome choreography.  Some really well timed phrases with Quinn yelling it while they're singing, excellent cutting here. We see Rachel watching from the back of the auditorium with a look like she wants to kill Jesse as they wrap up one of the greatest songs of all time. Quinn holds her baby with everybody all smiley around her. Rachael asks her mother to come co-direct the New Directions, more of a ploy to spend time with her mother than anything else. Mother fails to see this and completely rejects her. Blah blahs about dreams and balance and family.  (Yes, I'm still very bitter at "mommy-dearest". Why even give Rachael a glimmer of hope at getting to know her mother if just to rip it from her hands. To me she's saying "I want to know you, but actually, it's all too much so here's a face plant in the mud")   Cue to Sue and the judges.  Sue quips "Newton-John, you're dead to me" then begins snapping at everyone else. Adorable Josh Groban, asks Sue if she's single (I love that they've made here such a sex kitten and I love the Newton-John rivalry)

Groban says that enjoys the heart of New Directions and O.N.J. take it upon herself to completely shred them, even going as far as to ask, "Are they a poor person school?" (ONJ is bitching her image up though) We see a much softer side of Sue as she stands up for the "rag-tag misfits". Apparently, a huge mistake because everyone turns on her and knocks her down a peg or five. (I actually started to feel sorry for Sue for about 4 seconds and then happily realized she brings it all upon herself.  If she'd kept her big nose out of it, she wouldn't be there in the first place to be verbally slapped up one side and down the other.)

Cue to the stage where all the teams are standing together hoping to be crowned. Don't forget that if New Directions doesn't win, their program will be cut, reducing Glee members back to "loser" status. Sue, still bitter at being shut down in the judging room is exceptionally rude as she announces the winners.  The runners up are not at all stupidly named Oral Intensity, and the winners are Vocal Adrenaline.  New Directions are handed a tiny trophy and their heart broken faces and sad music almost bring a tear to my eye. Almost. 

Quinn and Puck are discussing the options of keeping the new baby girl and they both agree they don't want to keep her.  It's a bit of a sappy moment.  "mommy-dearest" waltzs up and asks quinn which one is hers and when she asks the name, only puck has a response, "Beth". (Kiss Song they performed last episode)

We see big-eyed Red screaming at the principle and Will walks down the stairs to see her storming out of the office.  This is one of the only times we see a much less demure side of Big Red as she gruffs about some things being worth fighting for. They banter back and forth loudly and as she walks away Will grabs and proclaims his love for her.  He then plants a big smooch on her and he's interrupted by Rachael requesting his presence in the auditorium.  The kids are all sappy and unveiling their secrets.  (are they trying to make us cry? P.S. no one can cry and sing at the same time, I'm just saying) Sappy song choice, a little unimpressive for the season finale. I find my finger itching to fast forward, there's really nothing to write about... Oh wait... WAIT... Sue in the back of the auditorium with tear filled eyes? Can it be? Is it so? 

Will is sadly packing up the Glee room as Sue strolls in.  (This scene is probably the best writing of the season.)  Sue, "It's as barren as me in here will, movin on to greener pastures?" Will, "did you just come to gloat Sue?" Sue, "Mostly" Will, “Congratulations, you got what you wanted.  I should shake your hand." Sue, "Not unless you've got some hand sanitizer. I've seen that car you drive, I don't want to catch poor." Awesome! We see that Sue in fact voted for New Directions to win and was thwarted by the other judges. Who knew she had a heart?!!?  She then regales us with amazing attacks on Will, the kids and yes, his hair of course. We find that Sue has gone to Figgins to get another year for Glee.  WOOHOO!!  As they're shaking hands Will tells her how good of a person she is and her comment is "I'm seriously going to puke in your mouth." (I almost dropped my laptop from laughter fits.)

The kids are gathered together all somber and Shuester drops the awesome news that they have another year. Yay, it's a celebration.  Will wants to return the favor of the serenade so Puck accompanies him for a beautiful rendition of Over the Rainbow. (Yes, I'm biased to Puck and anything he does is regarded as wonderful) Lots of sappy looks and smiles between the kids - cut to a nurse telling "mommy-dearest" the adoption papers are all in order. Looks like she is holding Beth, Quinn and Puck’s daughter and then (bleh) back to the classroom for more silly sappyness. 

And that kiddos, is the end of Season 1. Will you be tuning in tomorrow for the premiere of Season Two? Are Will and Emma (Big Eyed Red) back together? How are they going to fit all these episodes devoted to specific artists? Looking forward to Sue’s continued reign of terror?

I'm out pimps.

B-

"Mad Men - Beautiful Girls" S4, E9

\Don who seems to be playing hard ball with a client on the phone, saying “I’ll clear the next hour, let’s grab a sandwich and we can discuss this face to face. I’m hanging up now.” Shot on two perfectly wrapped sandwiches on the counter with drinks that are both untouched. You can hear Faye screaming from the kitchen as her and Don make a little afternoon delight. (Get it Don with the skills – cold hard pimp.) There is a loud clatter, like Don threw the hot blonde off the bed or something, and they both laugh, instead they hit a lamp. (What position were they in to knock off the bedside table lamp? I’ve been waiting for them to hook up since we first saw her on screen) Faye asks “Is it broken?” Don replies “The lamp?” (As in the lamp or my dick or both maybe?) Don is even up for a little post coital snuggling before Faye asks the inevitable, “Which one of us is going to look at the clock first?” (Since this is a work day people) Don says he is already late for a Secor laxatives meeting. Heehee. He asks what she is doing for the rest of the day and she says she has a meeting but can’t go into it. (She is a free lance research marketer or something because she works for many agencies.) Don says “He has to go,” and she asks “Can I get in the bathroom first?” Don starts to go into instructions because he is going to leave when she asks “You’re going to leave me alone in your apartment?” He replies “I’m taking everything interesting with me.” And laughs. (Some good lines here – who knew he was so funny and her too. He must really like her to leave her in his place, just saying – bachelor rule.)

Roger bitches on the phone asking about his book not being as good as Ogilvy (as in David Ogilvy) – his secretary buzzes in that his wife is on the phone and leaving for the week. Roger replies “It’s only Wednesday and they have phones in the Hampton.” In the process Roger loses Ira on the phone (maybe Ira say his window and bailed) Joan walks in with documents asking for “Signatures and not initials,” of Roger asking why he refused. Roger states “It’s just so much work,” he jests before Joan gives him the stink eye. (Joan is sure grouchy pants from tangling with that asshole Joey) Roger plays with Joan like he always does but she is pissed and tired of being treated like his personal office ho and walks out. The secretary walks in asking what Roger did to Joan. She says Joan’s doctor husband was called up to Vietnam right after basic training (Hate to say it but karma for Joan after her Vietnam vent on Joey and the guys last episode? Or her husband’s karma for joining military so he could still be a surgeon? They need doctors in Nam but shit Joanie.) Roger has his oh shit moment after he finds out.

Peggy meets Don saying “I know you don’t like to be immediately bombarded but I have to finish this Secor and Fillmore. So sign off on what I worked through lunch to finish.” Don apologizes for his long lunch, “swimming” and tells her to come back in hour because he needs to nap. (Don’t you forget it either Peggy, you bitch. Don’s such a pimp, beating down his bitches.) Don’s secretary comes out with a great line. “It’s a business of sadists and masochists and you know which one you are.” (Meaning Peggy loves Don’s beat downs at least in a way.) The lesbian girl ambushes Peggy in her office with the art guy asshole making comments the entire time. (Peggy doesn’t know if she likes this girl or not.)

Mrs. Blankenship (let’s call her the Dragon Lady) meets him after his siesta and offers him a message from Dr. Miller aka Faye. He smiles and walks away and the Dragon Lady asks if he is going to the toilet. (She is classic by the way, annoying but funny.) Peggy and the dyke are at the bar and Abe walks up, one of the les’s friends – who offers Abe her seat to play darts so they can talk alone. They flirt.

The doorbell rings and Joan answers the door. Two (Swedish?) Ladies show up at the door saying pedicure, manicure, massage. (I smell Roger.) She accepts though she hesitates and asks who sent it.

Back at the bar, Abe talks it up for Peggy and she listens hard only asking if he is from Brooklyn in reply. (She’s not interested in that talk dude.) When Peggy mentions Fillmore Auto parts, Abe is offended because they don’t hire “negroes” in southern stores. Peggy is surprised. Peggy offers some advertising excuse saying they help clients out of situations. Abe is offended from her response. Peggy likens herself to Negroes because she can’t get into any of the things the men can. Abe responds with there are no Negro copy writers (touché). Peggy says they can fight their way in like she did. Abe makes fun of women civil rights. (Really Abe?) Peggy cock blocks him and leaves him cold.

Cooper has some entertaining conversation with the Dragon lady about a crossword.  She greets Don who says coffee and let me know when Dr. Miller arrives. Dragon Lady replies “It’s hard the way she breezes past me.” She looks to Cooper and says “She is pushy that one, guess that is what it takes.” (Referring to how she hooked Don.)

Joan thanks Roger for her spa treatment – she got rubbed the right way instead of the wrong. Roger offers a meal – and Joan goes all cynical saying of course Roger wants something in return. (He is a player, just saying.)

Abe shows up with some manifest or some sort of writing for Peggy called “Nuremburg on Madison Avenue”. Uh-oh.

Dr. Miller presents research to a group (Don, Ken, Fillmore Auto Parts clients) and she finishes with “Ladies love a man who is good with their hands.” Her eyes flash to Don and she smiles. The clients bicker about what to do. (One is called the “salt of the Earth” by the other – love the term for an old timer.) Ken argues with Don slightly. (Not smart Ken) The front desk girl walks in and whispers to Don. He says “WHAT?” loudly and excuses himself. Front desk girl looks at Dr. Miller for a second oddly.

Don walks out and his daughter, Sally, is waiting for him with some woman. She says she caught her trying to avoid the conductor on the train. (Oh shit girl, wait until Betty finds out.) Don sends his daughter to his office and tries to pay the woman but she refuses saying that Don is lucky she found her and not some psycho.

Mrs. Blankenship comments about Sally looking chubby in pictures, smiling. Don tries to calmly say “Get her mother on the phone, now.” (No, don’t tell Betty!) Mrs. Francis, (weird right?) calls and Don shocks the hell out of Betty and she says it was the shrink's idea of Sally to walk by her. Don demands Betty come get Sally. Betty just says “You think it’s so much fun, enjoy. I’ll get her tomorrow night.” (Bitch slap from Betty! Even a pimp can get hit.)  Don slams the phone down, walks out and rejoins the meeting donning his smile again.

Peggy bitches at Abe about his stupid article. He defends himself and she rips the shit up. He is shocked saying she should be flattered. (He doesn’t know Peggy from shit.) Peggy says he better destroy it. Peggy walks down the hall and spots Blankenship napping at her desk. She goes to wake her up but she is dead. (Oh snap, the old bitch died hard but she went out with a bang at least with her fiery dialogue this episode.)

Don is interrupted from the same meeting because of the death of the Dragon Lady. He walks out and three girls surround Blankenship’s corpse. Joan says call the coroner and tries to move Blankenship with her afghan (wow Joan – showing some guts.) Joan asks front desk girl to get a man and a blanket.

Don comes back into the meeting and the group has decided on the “Fillmore Auto Parts, for the mechanic in every man.” (Good tagline.) Don has to ask to hear it again because Joan and Peter are carrying out Blankenship’s body in the window across from him – though Fillmore can’t see, Don, Ken and Faye can. (Their looks are great as they realize what is going on but still continue to sell the idea.) Harry Crane’s “My mother made that,” was hilarious as he referred to the blanket they were using to carry the body. They seal the deal on the meeting.

Don asks Faye to take Sally to his apartment and watch her. The office stands around and watches as the dead dragon lady is wheeled out on a gurney. Cooper stops the body for a minute. Front desk girl, aka Megan puts dragon lady’s purse on the body’s chest, almost like this is a tomb rite or something. Megan tells Don to go home. (Who is this Megan girl? One of the beautiful girls obviously, which the episode is named after but…)

Roger is worried about dying in his office and Joan comforts him. They lament about Blankenship. Roger asks Joan to join him again. She hesitates, he insists.

Faye and Sally watch TV at Don’s pad. Don comes home. Faye has dinner plans and leaves. Sally asks to order a pizza. Don makes Sally promise to never do this again. (Sally seems unaffected and almost gloomy. She is scared of Betty that bad, huh?)

Joan and Roger speak about Joan’s husband. She says she had no say in her husband’s actions. Roger regrets leaving Joan. She appreciates his expression of regret.

Sally asks Don is he is marrying Faye, is Faye is his girlfriend? Don says no to both accounts even though Faye has a set of keys. Sally says something is up because Faye said she wanted to meet her. Don asks if Sally likes her and she says she seems nice. Pizza guy shows up.

Roger and Joan walk down the street noting how it has changed. Roger jokes that Blankenship is not missing anything and some shady guy walks up asking for the time before pulling a gun on Roger and Joan. Roger protects Joan and gives up his ring, wallet, watch, etc. The shady bastard makes Joan give up her purse and rings and takes off. Joan freaks out and Roger comforts her. They kiss. Holy shitballs. Joan and Roger back together like two fucking players. Joan wants it bad too. (Her husband is a shitty lover.)

Don tucks in Sally and she passes on saying goodnight to Betty. (Cause Betty is a cold hearted bitch)/ Sally wants to live with Don and is all sweet like. Don asks what about her life? She says her brothers can come too. He kisses her goodnight and goes to journal. (I don’t know about this journal stuff.)

Don awakes to find Sally has made French toast. He asks what is on it and she replies Mrs. Butterworth’s. He asks her to go get it and she brings a Mrs. Butterworth like shaped rum bottle. It doesn’t taste too bad to Don, rum French toast, yummy. Sally convinces a possibly tipsy Don to taker her somewhere. He says Central Park; she asks for Dinosaur museum too, he says one or other. (She is such a player, like her daddy.)

Sterling and Cooper sit in Sterling’s office trying to come up with something for Blankenship’s obit. Cooper admits he doesn’t have an office and is kind of bitter about it. Roger asks for Joan to come in to help. As Joan writes it Roger stares at her ass. Cooper says some crazy shit about Blankenship being an astronaut because she was born in 18981 in a barn and died on the 37^th floor. (An old lover of Cooper’s? 1898, damn she was an old bitch.) Roger apologizes to Joan about doing it last night and she says “I’m not sorry. But I’m married. So are you.” (Best line of the episode.) Roger says he feels something and so does she. Joan walks out.

Don brings Sally to work after a joyous outing and front desk girl, Megan, is now Don’s secretary. (Uh-oh. Moving on up, to the East side) He hands off Sally to Megan. Peggy, Ken, and art jerk (aka Stan) sit in the conference room. The guys joke about Don’s new secretary and whether she will quit or die. Don walks in. They talk about Fillmore wanting a jingle and Ken offers some guys up. Don yawn at them all. Peggy offers Harry Belafonte (African American mega pop star of 50’s, activist, and actor.) Peggy says Harry could help with their image. Why are they doing business with companies like Fillmore anyway? (Abe got a little bit into Peggy didn’t he?) Don replies “Our job is to make men like Fillmore Auto, not Fillmore Auto like Negroes.” (Damn, well okay then Don.)

Megan waves to Don who goes to get Sally to meet Betty in the lobby. (Whew) Sally refuses to go and makes a scene. She screams “I hate there.” (Don, she lives with the ice queen, Betty, you know better than anyone. Help her.) Faye walks in asking if everything is ok. Don grabs Faye and walks out of his office, asking Faye to talk to Sally. Faye doesn’t want to but she does for Don. Sally tells Dr. Miller to shut up and runs out of the office, falling in the hallway. Office girls surround her. Sally hugs Megan. Sally cries on Megan’s shoulder about mommy dearest. They walk to meet Betty in reception. All the office ladies follow and watch before Joan calls them in. Betty pats Sally on the arm (wait until we get home you little bitch.) and she tells Sally to say goodbye. The lesbian walks in and talks to Megan who is now back at the front desk.

Don walks back into his office and Faye is fuming. Don shouldn’t have put her in that position. It felt like a test and she failed it. She has been thinking about meeting his kids.  Don apologizes and they hug and kiss.

The lesbian joins Peggy in her office and she discusses Abe and men as soup and how they try to make women a pot and who wants to be a pot anyway? Peggy disagrees saying she doesn’t believe that. Joan and Faye wait for the elevator and get in one. Peggy asks them to hold it and they do. Peggy takes her place as one of the “Beautiful Girls” in between Joan and Faye as the elevators door close.

So Ida "The Old Battleship" Blankenship died, poor extremely old thing. How they disposed of her was hysterical, hiding it from the clients. Don and Faye grew closer. Sally screamed for help only to be thrown back into the clutches of Betty the wicked witch of the west. Peggy chose what team she was playing for. Joan and Roger "reminisced" about days of old. I liked them together actually, always have. Looks like some rough days could be ahead for Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. A storm is brewing.  

"True Blood - Evil is Going On" S3, E12

Was anyone else thrown by the True Blood countdown which was really just a huge commercial for other upcoming shows? Tricky HBO, you got me - but not really because of the magic that is DVR.

This finale episode is basically half disposing of Russell and half setting up shit for next season spliced up for our viewing pleasure.

We start with Russell and Eric frying in the parking lot. The two of them going back and forth about how Russell slaughtered Eric's Viking family over a couple of goats was pretty damn funny. A Viking King and his family gone because Russell's wolves needed a little snack and the Viking King refused him? A lot of folks have said that Russell (Denis O'Hare) is one of the best parts of the season and the more I watch the more I agree. It only gets weirdly better with Godric's ghostly apparition appearing to Eric to offer Angelic words of wisdom about forgiveness - which he ignores.

Cue to Sookie staring up at the mystical, sparkly, fairyish chandelier before she wakes up from her near death fairy trance and smacks Bill across the face - "You fucking betrayed me again." (From this point on in the episode Sookie takes a more direct approach for once and its bad ass to witness her unleash her inner assertive fairyness.) Bill's retort about doing it to save Sookie's life "again" as he echoes her tone is ingenious. Pam sulks in the corner and answers Sookie when she asks where Eric is. "Outside, burning." with blood tears running down her face. (Pam has been doing good with the somber bit though I like my Pam a little kooky, salty and dripping with sarcasm.) Sookie runs outside to save Eric. Russell is brilliant as he chastises our Sookie until she finally cracks and uses her power to break the silver handcuffs. So far this power has been emotionally driven for Sookie but Russell acts like using it should be second nature. Sookie blasts Russell across the asphalt with her golden glow power after he screams "Now, drag me the fuck inside," to which she retorts "Watch your fucking language!" - which was a great moment. Good use of some Fbombs here. Sookie grabs Eric to pull him inside and the credits roll. Great opening regardless of your feelings about the finale. These writers and directors have mastered these knee jerking openings wonderfully.

Sookie feeds Eric back to his usual pasty self while Nan Flanagan argues with Steve Newlin on TV (What are they doing with Steve? His retorts with Nan make him look stupid, maybe that's the point) Sam cooks hoecakes (Southern word for Johnny cakes - pancakes made from cornmeal) for Tara - in which he asks if he has ever made her breakfast before. Tara says no because Sam's incessant snorebarking wakes her up, which is why she leaves. It must be loud because this is the second time and from two different characters where we have heard about Sam barking in his sleep. The bit of happiness both of them have stumbled into ebbs away as Sam tries to explain his shapeshifterness to Tara.

Eric awakens and demands for someone to go get Russell, claiming Godric visited him saying he should save Russell. Godric didn't say this really but said forgive him so they could both have peace. Seeing Godric all white and shiny like the Twilight vampires makes Eric think there is possible heavenly salvation for vampires and will not let Russell test that possibility and revenge wins. Eric is about to go back outside to do the deed himself before Sookie hops up grabs the silver chain, mutters some curse words and heads out the door to save the fallen king.

Tara is still wallowing in Sam's confession. She whines asking for a "reboot" and asking to unlearn some of the shit she has learned recently. Sam says she can. Basically she blames her jacked up life on supes, which I know she is getting over Franklin but damn. Tara asks "If the old you catches up?" and Sam admits "Of course it does, but you gotta keep on moving." Foreshadowing to Sam stepping back into shadow later on maybe?

Back to Fangtasia - Russell is being chained to the stripper pole by Eric while the other three stand in protest because they think he should die. He probably should but then he couldn't come back next season, right? Russell, now a black, smoking, sandpaper, thing (looks kind of like Spawn) flirts with Eric eerily doing the finger thing to Eric's chest that he has done all season. Eric hits him and Russell coughs up a fang. "How humiliating," Eric says "but I'll take that." (He has to turn it over to Nan and the Authority right?) Russell claims that Sookie's blood is all that he will ever think of again in crazy and weird ass way. Eric decides Sookie will watch over the Mississippi fried vampire king while the three of them go to ground.

Boring scene with Andy and the tough DEA cop asshole about the Hotshot raid. In the books, the Hotshot storyline is great and yet here it drags on and on and on. Jason comes in trying to find out information about the Hotshot raid and of course Andy blurts out that they are going in today. Jason bolts to go warn Crystal and the scary looking Hotshot bunch.

Tara has some flashbacks about some of the horrible things she has been through lately and it is only a pin drop of the real shit.

Hoyt shows up for work to see his mama, Maxine, Summer, his ex, and his old high school counselor sitting in lawn chairs for an intervention. Summer and Maxine both read lame letters about how Hoyt dating a vampire is affecting their lives and how they love Sam. Good plan Maxine - ya old bitch. Love how Hoyt refutes all her ultimatums. The counselor jumps in and Hoyt calls him out for keeping a bottle of Malibu Rum in his desk, which everyone knows about. It is nice to see Hoyt pull up his britches and finally take charge. The women cry and the counselor tries to hug them before Maxine shoves the counselor to the ground.

LaFayette is still freaked out from the V trip the night before with Jesus when he arrives at Merlotte's. He asks Sam to let him in because he forgot his keys and he sees blood on Sam's hands as he is unlocking the door, and hears his thoughts - "Cross me and I will kill you." Almost like he sees Sam's true, darker nature brimming up around the edges. Sam started out so good at the start of the show and has only become darker as we move deeper into his past. Especially this season the downward spiral has been hard and fast.

Russell makes a proposal of desperation to Sookie and it is entertaining to watch her consider his offer. Millions of dollars, his Mississippi mansion -"I always liked that house", and the offer to kill Eric, Bill, both of them, or neither, whatever she chooses. Not too bad of a deal, she only has to release him. Sookie refuses of course but then Russell  poses an interesting theory - is Bill really a Southern gentleman or does he have enough restraint to prolong the experience of drinking Sookie's blood exponentially? One crazy night versus a life time of love and limitless intoxicating blood. Hmm..... Russell is privileged enough to always share considerable revelations with us. Sookie gets mad and shoots some silver pepper spay shit right in Russell's face. Ouch.

Sookie grabs the glass vase (probably some historical artifact or notorious gift knowing their taste) of Talbot and asks why Russell is keeping him. She figures it out - to bring Talbot back to life using her blood somehow. Sookie goes to throw it down the garbage disposal while Russell utters German words all crazy like, in a deliciously disgusting moment. Russell screams in agony. No come back for Talbot, the diva.

Jason and Crystal pull into Hotshot to warn them folks about the raid about to happen. They convince Calvin to get rid of the V. Loved the one kid calling Calvin uncle daddy. Classic. Jason points out Calvin's leadership flaws as everyone standing around them is dirty and hungry. Never thought I would say this but case in point Jason. V fueled Felton shows up and shoots a couple folks including Calvin, right in the face, boom - dead and gone.

Sam pulls up to Terry on the porch crying. I usually like what they do with Terry but crying over happiness, really? Waste my precious finale minutes with this shit?! (No offense Todd, it's the writing.) Sam apologizes and Terry cries like a little girl on porch steps. He feels so lucky and grateful and it is going to split him in half it hurts so good. You don't know shit dude - open your eyes. Sam goes to find Tommy in the rent house to find it abandoned and pretty much cleaned out. We know Tommy was knacking for that safe of Sam's earlier and as he realizes this he runs out of the rent house.

The DEA asshole guy makes Andy felling like a cow plop by asking him to buy him some Luckies when he offers to help. So assholish. (They still make Luckies? I want to buy them and be like Don Draper.)

We jump to Hotshot where Felton states he is taking Crystal at gunpoint. He takes Jason's woman and his truck, damn dude what else is left. Crystal pronounces Jason in charge of Hotshot before she leaves. I can see Jason really coming into his own by taking care of these Hotshot folks but step it up, move it along, let's go. Felton asks "Is she worth it?" to Jason before driving away. Obviously you redneck dumbass otherwise you wouldn't be taking her with you huh? Jason nobly looks around and introduces himself to the Hotshot folk.

Tara comes to see Lettie Mae and catches her getting it on with Reverend Daniels. Oh, trashtastic Lettie Mae, who knew she was a slut too. "I just spilled some lemonade on my pants while she was helping me with my sermon." Haha, sure Reverend Daniels. Lettie chases after Tara and screams she is in love. Tara asks Lettie Mae if she ever wants to change when she answers "I am a changing. I am gonne be a Minister's wife. I am gonna be happy, at last!" and she smiles weakly. You don't know if Tara's head is going to start spinning off while vomiting pea soup all exorcist style, but she smiles, wishes her good luck and hugs Lettie Mae. Slutty, bitch never helps her daughter.

Sam goes to find his office empty and safeless and screams Tommy's name across Merlotte's. Arlene complains about Sam being an asshole to LaFayette (she's still not over him freaking out the episode before) who sees Renee throttling Arlene and saying "I'm inside her and she can't get rid of me." I love that they are using Renee like this in bits and pieces to torture Arlene. LaLa freaks out and calls Jesus and admits he has been hallucinating and is afraid of being like his mama. I liked how he was freaked out in the phone booth and yet he struts away from it acting all tough and normal. (Maybe if Sookie actually got to work at Merlotte's this season she would have saved it from going to hell in a hand basket. Jessica can't do it all - she's just a hostess with a disability - being a vampire.)

Back to Fangtasia where we get one last scene with Ginger, who is hilarious. She offers to make Sookie a "peanut butter and butter sandwich" and screams, (hell yes, one last Ginger scream) as Alcide walks in. Alcide and Sookie have another awkward attempt at chemistry at the bar. All the other vamps awaken and show up to collect Russell for disposal with Alcide's help of course. Sookie rescinds every one's invitation to every vampire present now that she knows she is "vampire crack." Awesomeness. Alcide and Bill stare each other down as Sookie says this and Eric drags Russell across the floor and says "If you two (Bill and Alcide) are finished eye fucking each other can they go?", as Russell screams in pain. Funny, haven't heard the term eyefucking since Wedding Crashers. Love it.

Andy is about to try V in his office when DEA asshole shows up with Jason pissed that the raid was a bust. Those crazy puns, I know. Andy gets pissed. Jason explains in his dumb as rocks way that "Doing the right thing is sometimes doing the wrong thing and he knows he did the right thing." Um, okay...

Jesus shows up and comforts LaFayette and admits when he started learning magic from his Tio and LaLa freaks out a bit. Jesus says he is a brujo, a Latino witch, and LaFayette accepts him instead of freaking out. Do you think Jesus could be doing this to you LaLa? His new powers are similar to Sookie's though more visual and intense.

Tara stares at a pair of stainless steel scissors and just when you think she is going to plunge them into her aorta, she cuts her hair. Tara and Sookie meet up downstairs and hang out for the first time since right before Mary Ann showed up and took over Gran's house. They shoot the shit, Tara asks "What happened to her bedroom." and Sookie says "You don't want to know." - that damn bitch Debbie Pelt. Tara says she is going to Merlotte's and leaves though Sookie asks her to come back soon.

At the Herveaux family construction site (thanks Alcide), Eric and Bill cover Russell with cement in a giant pit, while he is wrapped in silver claiming that it will keep Russell trapped for 100 years. Russell claims that 100 years is shit to him but Eric and Bill remind him he will only think of his loss and grief and become more mad than he already is. "And you are as mad as a fucking hatter", Bill states. Amazing line there, so true and funny and complex on different levels. Best quote of the episode. Godric shows up and says "everyone deserves peace," (yawn) and Eric only yells at him screaming this is what you have created. Russell makes fun of Eric talking to phantoms and Godric fades away as the cement pours down on Russell.

Enter the twist: Bill takes this "grand opportunity" and betrays Eric handcuffing him and throwing him to another pit, covering him with cement. Using that glove for protection he grabbed earlier at the bar since th cuffs are silver. Bill call Eric's hit guy and in Eric's voice says "Kill Pam, my progeny."

Jessica and Hoyt get out of the truck and walk up to a small shitbox house. Jessica is blindfolded and Hoyt walks her in saying "It is for them and he has put the deposit down already, so hope you like it." (I am reminded of the shitty Drew Barrymore movie where she moves into a shitbox with a heroin addict on a cull De sac) Jessica thinks it will be cute and asks if can Hoyt paint it excitedly. Bittersweet ending for the lovebirds as Jessica says "She doesn't know what she would do without Hoyt." and he says "She'll never know," which is bullshit because he is mortal. Unless she changes him next season...

Maxine marches in a gun store, grabs a rifle, slings it over her shoulder and troops along like she is going to blast the redheaded dead girl who stole her baby back to hell. Grab some silver and wooden bullets honey. Jessica would rip her lard of an ass up and Maxine will probably shoot Hoyt by accident or something.

Bills shows up at Sookie's and explains all of his actions. Sookie is about to give in when Eric shows up covered in a cement/concrete concoction - hair and all. Eric spills a lot saying Bill originally came to procure Sookie for the Queen and that Bill let her get beat to near death by the Ratliffs so he could feed Sookie his blood. Why Bill, that manipulative bastard dickhead vampire. Bill tried to cement Eric to keep these truths from Sookie. She throws him out and we watch the vortex rip Bill out to the door frame where the have a few words before he is thrown to the ground after Sookie renounces his love and invitation. Eric coolly asks for his cell phone back. (Player) Sookie is pissed and yells at Eric too. (player hater) Eric says he doesn't enjoy her suffering but thought she should know.

Tara drives up to Merlotte's in her convertible with purple interior (thanks LaLa) and drives off into the darkness to what, start over somewhere else? to pull a Thelma and Louise? More drama?

Pam emerges bitching about the cement in her hair and how she will never get it out. Ding, ding - she saved Eric from his cement cell. Leads us to believe Russell is still trapped, at least for now.

Sam's bad ass country ride comes to a screeching halt near Tommy and he chases Tommy on foot, catching up to him. Sam pulls a gun. Tommy cries that "Sam changed his life completely and then throws him away just like garbage." You start to feel sorry for Tommy for about half a second before Sam's temper flares and he yells "I saved your life you stupid little shit." Tommy screams about Sam rubbing in his stupidity before asking like his whitetrash mama "How am I supposed to live?" Get a fucking job Sam replies before Tommy confesses, "I can't read." Guess the Mickens never needed their boyto read just turn into a pitbull and kill. Poor Tommy, he is just such a messed up jackass. Sam says "Not my problem," like he is heartless. (Cold blooded in high pitch sing song) Tommy says "fuck you," and walks off with Sam's money saying "you aint (if he said aren't it should be aint) going to shoot shit." Sam raises his gun and boom, he shoots. We don't know what happens. Do we care besides to find out if Same has gone to the dark side?

Sookie is crying on her bed, boohoo. Back at his house, Bill answers the door for the Queen of Louisiana who shows up like Scarlett O'Hara in all black, mourning after her fake husband's death. Sophie Ann is super excited that Russell is no more (and she is about to get some Vampire crack) and notes how dreary Bill is - uh, honey do you know this guy? His name is Bill fucking dreary all the time Compton. She orders him to go and fetch Sookie. Bill states that "She isn't hear and that he lured her here under false pretenses." What? She asks him "If he dares to challenge her, she is twice his age." Again with the age thing here, it must mean a lot of them. Bill answers "Yes, but I have nothing left to lose," bitch. They go all Matrix on each other, flying across the room and before they collide it cuts to Sookie in the cemetery. (I wish the Queen/Bill scene would have been longer a little more fight, or at least sharp dialogue. Lots of cutting and pasting this episode.)

Sookie cries at Gran's grave (cue Gran music) before Claudine shows up and says "You're not alone Sookie, come with us." Sookie starts to tip toe to Claudine as all these other mystic people in white (maybe the guy was Claude?) start popping out of the woods. Sookie and Claudine touch glowing hands before they all disappear and go to........... (Never land to be safe from all creatures of the night.)

Well, kids this was the last one. We have to wait a damn long time until next summer to see anything. Oh yeah, Alan Ball shows up after the credits to thank the fans and  apologize for a mediocre finale teasing us with bits from Season Four. "We're working on season four already guys, it is going to be so exciting. We meet some witches and some other cool supernatural shit. I am sitting on Gran's porch." Doesn't really apologize but he kind of does.

So what do these dark truths mean for Sookie? Her blood is the actual True Blood, not the synthetic crap the Japanese are mass producing. How will Bill get back on top with Sookie? Will Eric have a chance before that happens? Is Sookie through with vamps for good? Will she turn to our favorite werewolf or another supe? Did Tara or Tommy survive?

Note, they are calling True Blood watchers "trubies" on HBO. Just heard it in a trailer for those of us who need a fix between now and next summer. Hate it? Love it? Eh?

First posting and longest ever. Good times.